By a Warrior's Daughter

Together in good and bad:
Mamang and Papang enjoying their moments
a year after the cancer diagnosis

"I just want to let you know that your mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Let's all be strong and pray for her." 

I could hear the tremble in my father's voice on the other side of the line while I tried to absorb the the truth of what he shared. No, it couldn't be Mamang. It just couldn't be true. 

Carmelita, my mother is a powerhouse just by herself. Coming from the rigid and proud Ilocandia, in her blood flows the strict discipline of our ancestors. This entails hard work and perfection in everything you do and everything you have and hope to achieve. And to be able to do this, one must put his or her health on the pedestal. Hence, Ilocanos are known for their excessive regard for strong body, sharp mind and relentless spirit. 

To know that our home's source of strength and stability was diagnosed with stage two breast cancer was a fact that I couldn't understand and accept at that time. But as my father related to me that when my mother was rolled out of the operating room after her mastectomy sobbing in pain, I was reminded that even warriors get wounded and humbled in the fight.

It was indeed a tumultuous battle for my mother. I remembered the moment when she was hesitant to undergo mastectomy to remove the affected breast. The fear to go under the knife for the first time was understandable but it was also a significant turning point in her life when her relentless resolve was a necessity. 

As we await her decision, we needed to remind ourselves that it was first and foremost her own battle and that we should take a step back from telling her what to do. In effect, it was challenging dilemma for us. We wanted her to undergo mastectomy but at the end of the day, it was a decision she could only make. 

But as Vaclav Havel in his poem shared, hope is the quality of the soul and does not depend on the outside world. It is the direction of the spirit and the direction of the heart. 

It was that one warm morning in March 2010 that we realized the ferocity of our mother's determination to fight. We received a message from here that made us hope once again.  

It read, "I have decided to undergo the operation. I have decided to live more." 

On December 11, 2012, my mother turned sixty-six and cancer-free. After two years, she continues to live strong and inspiring more people to take the power back with regards to their health and their well-being. 

The warrior had finally risen to win the battle. 

Two years after the mastectomy, Mamang basks in the love
and company of family

She is, however not alone. She had mentored and inspired thousands of students in her life including us, her children, her nieces and nephews and her grandchildren. The boundless passion and determination to be the best that one can be have been stamped in the hearts and minds of those lives she has touched.

The world is filled with people who strive to pursue their dreams. We are the warriors of our time; getting better and better day by day. 

More than Just a Playground

As I watched the children frolic at the beach and the warm waters of that late afternoon, I silently touched the fine white sand I was sitting on and felt the rushing waves nipping at my feet. Everything overwhelmed my senses. The sound of the waves breaking in to shore, the scent of the ocean, the feel of the breeze on my skin and the sound of laughter and conversations filled me up just like the old days. This place used to be my playground, my source of unadulterated joy and freedom. However, as I reflected on how it firstly greeted me earlier that day, I wonder if I am still welcome to feel its warmth. 


Temporarily closed. This is the sign that greeted me as I approached. Barbed wires surrounded my playground and a closed gate warded off unauthorized people to enter it.

We've been warned about this before thus, we bore an authorization from the vice-mayor of our hometown to let us enjoy the place. 

However, seeing the sign and the barricade for the first time still brought a pain that every unwelcome child feels. It took me a moment to let the reality sink in. Just when I started to feel sad, the sound of the waves engulfed me and the warmth of the blowing wind eased the gloom away. Suddenly, I began to feel the familiar tug; the beach pulling me towards it. 

As I sat down and watched my nieces and nephews indulged in its waters and played with its sand, I remembered that I used to do the same with total abandon. Those were good and carefree moments of a child.

But as a grown-up, you began to look beyond the surface, ask questions and find the answers. How come that such a beautiful sanctuary, a perfect place made for fun and reflection was now closed and restricted to most people? Doesn't everybody deserve the comfort of paradise in their busy and hurried lives? Doesn't every child deserve such a majestic playground? 


I stood up and decided to take a walk along the beach to clear my mind. The kids, however ran after me and joined me in my walk. Their lively chatter about finding fish, crabs, snails and starfish trapped in the water pools in the rock formation at the other side of the beach filled me up with the same excitement when I was as young as them and suddenly these questions were forgotten. 

I joined them as they sought for treasures they could find; their shrills and giggles filled the air. Among other adults, I answered their questions about the sea creature they found and reminded them not to take the fish and crustaceans out of the water. 

Moving my camera lens down to take pictures of the sources of their fascination, I found something that provided the answers to those temporarily forgotten questions. 

A slipper was washed in along by the waves to the water pools. It was well-worn and was obviously thrown to the water as trash. I could not stop feeling disappointed and angry for such an irresponsible act. As I calmed myself down, I was about to realize that the feeling of disappointment, frustration and anger had just began.

Retracing my steps, I took time to explore every nook and cranny of the beach. However, in that certain time, I wasn't looking for treasures. I was looking for answers and I didn't have to dig for them for they were laid down in plain sight. 

The sand was littered by garbage. Empty bottles and plastic wrappers of junk food and candies were left by beach-goers without a care. This was how they repaid the free reception the beach offered. 

Yes, this was an open beach that welcomed everyone without payment in return. It used to be a playground for every child and a haven for every person. 

It was then that I fully absorbed and understood the necessity of closing it down to most people. However, what I couldn't fathom was the fact that no one picked the garbage up and cleaned the beach. 

The sign did say, "Temporary closed. Development On-Going". I would rather have a sign saying, "Open for Saving". 

This is not merely a post. This is more of an advocacy. 

Kalamansiguenos, let us take that sign down, flock to the beach and clean it up. And more than that, let us encourage everybody most especially our local decision-makers to create an ordinance and fully-implement policies on the protection of our natural environment. 

Because this beach is more than just a playground. It is Home.